**Translation into English:**
The girl closes her bedroom door.
I’m empty until I say something that is true. Until then I am formed from other people’s thoughts.
Lately I’ve been thinking about whom happiness favors.
The girl tears photographs.
In my home there are pictures on the wall of people I hate. This doesn’t feel like home.
The girl falls onto the bed. The girl stares at the ceiling, arms spread.
I got the feeling that someone is actually taking care of me, that the world is. I see signs everywhere that predict how this will turn out. But how do I know which sign is the right one? I thought that now it would come true, that my wishes would be fulfilled.
The girl sees her own reflection and smashes the glass with her fist.
Love was supposed to be something absolutely wonderful. Everyone talks about how wonderful it is. I am so disappointed. Why is such ugly love what’s being offered to me here? This I will not forgive the world for. No one ever promised me anything except that they did. Everyone talks about beauty. I am alone. Everyone talks about it.
The girl sits on the bed and stares into emptiness.
When you think you’ve hit bottom, you haven’t yet. The bottom is deeper. At the bottom you don’t trust yourself, or other people, or the walls, or the ceiling, or the sky, or the ground, and your head is pounding with unwanted thoughts that tell you to end others and then yourself.
At night, pounding music plays.
The girl goes outside and walks down the street. It is a bright morning.
The girl lifts her gaze to the sky.
I don’t like people anymore. They are not a reliable reason to be here. I like birds more, the ones that land on the street in front of me to remind me to lift my gaze to the sky. I like the leaves of trees against the sky. When the leaves fall, the branches are still beautiful. The sky as a backdrop reveals the opening of buds. As long as one remembers to lift their gaze.
I like searching and waiting.
